Dr. Jennifer W. Shewmaker

Parent, Teacher, Author

Future trophy wife?!? Really?

Wow, I don’t even know where to start on this one. I actually saw a onesie in a newborn size that featured the saying, “Future Trophy Wife.” Now, I know some of you may be thinking, “Oh, come on, have a sense of humor.” People, your child’s body is not an appropriate place for a sexual joke. Seriously.

I was recently talking with a young woman in high school. She said that she thinks that one of the biggest issues involving sexuality is how you dress. When I asked her to explain that, she said that when people look at you and you’re dressed “all skanky,” you’re sending a message. Her point was that adults don’t spend enough time talking with adolescents about how their clothes and appearance show what’s on the inside. This young woman stated that, as a Christian, she thinks that it’s hard for people to believe the message of God and His love that you’re bringing if your dressed in a way that sends a message that focuses on sexuality.

That’s something we need to think about. I have seen so many “jokey” outfits on young children and babies like this one. Adults think it’s funny. The problem is, you’re sending a message to your child that says, “Hey, it’s funny and cute to make yourself into a sexual object,” for, what else could “future trophy wife” or other such sayings mean?

I love fashion, really. I just think we need to think about how our outward appearance demonstrates our integrity, character, and the respect we have for ourselves. And that goes for the way that we dress our children too.

3 comments on “Future trophy wife?!? Really?

  1. Shannon Williamson
    August 12, 2010

    Dr. S,
    I recently ran across your blog, and I love it! I really appreciate this post in particular. Earlier this summer a 16 year old girl from my church here in New Orleans was going to visit colleges in Atlanta and asked me if I could help her get clothes together for the trip. I have helped her and her sister get ready for school each year and for summer mission trips and camps as the relative they live with simply can’t afford to. As we began to talk about what she needed, she told me that she didn’t have anything to wear that was decent enough to visit a college campus. I took her shopping for a few outfits, but we made an even trade. For every modest item I bought she had to throw away an inappropriate item. At the end of our shopping trip she told me that she had a lot of fun and was surprised at how much she really liked her new clothes. She confessed that she had always thought to “dress cute” meant that she had to dress provocatively. As women of faith, we have got to teach younger girls, especially in their teenage years that beauty is as beauty does, and that our outward appearance should reflect the things they really want people to see: integrity, strength of character, love for God and others… Thanks again for your post.

  2. LeAnne
    August 6, 2010

    I have seen this shirt too, and I totally agree with your thoughts. I am glad you included comments from the high school student. It is good to know that kids out there are aware that the way they dress will send a message. I talk often about this with my own teen and pre-teen daughters – I just hope it sinks in.

  3. Elizabeth Wilson
    August 5, 2010

    I love this! SO true. I’ll need this wisdom since my daughter won’t always be three years old.

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