In his book, Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male, Dr. Andrew P. Smiler, America’s leading expert on the masculine self, talks about and challenges the Casanova Complex, which is the idea that all men and teen boys are interested in being sexually promiscuous. Smiler says that the truth is that most men and boys are not interested in having multiple sexual partners with no ties to relationship. Instead, most guys prefer their sexual experiences to be a part of a caring relationship.
Smiler points out that boys often miss out on conversations and lessons about how to develop healthy relationships, how to ask for what you want in a relationship, how to gain consent, how to give or withhold consent, and how to have a healthy, mutually respectful relationship. He recommends that parents and other caring adults:
Challenging Casanova is a great book for parents and professionals who want to understand the modern boy. Dr. Smiler’s next book, Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Center Teen Boy is a handbook for teen boys themselves, and will be out in December 2015.
To find out more about his work, check out Dr. Smiler’s website.